Friday 4 April 2014

Awareness



The white awareness ribbon at the start of this blog is the symbol for lung cancer awareness. I only knew the popular pink ribbons, pink is actually for breast cancer awareness.
Yes there's a lot of things I don't know about cancer. Before cancer consumed me, I was designing, writing, and taking photographs for three websites. I also wrote for ezines on anything from travel, cooking, photography, relationships, family traditions, holidays, etc. The one topic that never crossed my mind writing about is Cancer. It's ubiquitous now! taking over my life. From day 1 of getting diagnosed I have been made AWARE. I'm aware of it's nastiness, the graciousness that comes out of it, and the overwhelming information that I have to decipher and deduce, and aware, that there are hard decisions to be made.
I'm a planner and an organizer. I pay much attention to detail. I like being in control. This fortuitous episode meant I cannot control everything, or even unnerving, that I have no control of my future.  I am abashed.
This was so unforeseen. I have been healthy. I had no vices. My diet was not perfect, but I followed the rule, everything in moderation. Writing about cancer never caught my interest, and although I have close friends dealing with it, I just never thought I would be next. We all say it "this thing does not happen to me". On my way to the X-ray, I said to myself "it can't be bad, you're already dealing with a lot of stuff, you can't take them all", but alas, I did!
So, why am I back online? I need an outlet. I now know that bottling up your emotions is not good for your immune system. I'm usually the person who is at the receiving end of the vent and loving that I can do that for people I care about. I am aware that everyone's got challenges which is why I hardly open up. I don't want to burden anyone with my own. The other reason is I am very private. I've set up Facebook and Twitter business pages but I never had a personal one. That culture of transparency just doesn't click with me. I will use this forum to counter my chemo brain too, I refuse to let that go.
With this blog I hope to provide myself with an outlet and at the same time share my experience and new found knowledge on Cancer. Finally, I wish to raise awareness about lung cancer and cancer in general. I don't claim to be an expert, by no means, the cancer world is so immense and complicated, I can never claim that. We've heard it before, "Cancer comes like a thief at night". Let's put our security systems on so he can't get in. Being aware is being on guard.

2 comments:

  1. You are amazing Caroline. It is so brave of you to open yourself up like this. I know how private you are and I know that writing is going to be wonderful for your mind and soul. You are an inspiration! Sending much love and strength.

    Lesa

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  2. Thank you Lesa. It is truly enriching to write. Thanks for the support!

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