Monday, 12 May 2014

Coming Home

My last night in Malaga and I couldn't sleep. I look back at the eight gruelling days I've been confined, the eight days I fought for my life. The doctors who looked after me had all come to wish me well, one of them gave me a hug and told me I am a miracle. As we drive to the airport, I view and admire the Costa del Sol coastline regretting that I didn't get a chance to take photos or take the kids anywhere educational which I always do when we travel. My brother had rented a big van with panoramic windows, it was a relaxing scenic drive. London is only 2 and a half hours away but travelling with a portable oxygen can be worrying. What if the flight is delayed, what if my oxygen breaks down? It's supposed to last 6 hours with a fully charged battery. I find myself constantly checking its power level and I realise travelling will never be the same again for me and the family. As soon as we landed at Gatwick, the oxygen went off, out of power. We alerted the flight attendants and we were let off first so we can get to the nearest plug to charge, what a scare that was.
Hospital Quiron in Marbella gave me clear instructions. When you get off the flight, check in straight to your hospital.  It was almost 7 pm when we got home, I'm tired, still stressed from the oxygen failure incident, I told my husband we'll go in the morning. I needed to feel the comforts of home even for one night. As soon as I walked into the house my Mom eyes start working "What have you guys done to the house"? I scream as the kids scurry off to their rooms. I was in Spain for 6 weeks, a maid comes in to clean for them but the house was still a disaster. They had left lights and the air-conditioning on, there was left over food out, a lot of snack wrappers and dog food on the floor. I was weak but I noticed all the mess. I would typically get things in order but I knew I had to teach myself to ignore them, that's not important now. Since I got diagnosed I realised I have some basic life skills I still have to teach my kids. You just always think you will be there for them all the time, that gradually these skills will develop and get instilled in them as you go through life together. I panic at the thought of not having time to impart basic skills to my precious children.
The next day I went to see my oncologist and his team. They had warned that we might have waited too late for the chemotherapy to work but hey, here I am ready to try anything to stay alive longer. Seeing my scans from Spain, they were astonished that I made it back. I was in terrible shape. They lost no time in getting me a room, I was going to be there indefinitely.
Photo courtesy of Mary Reyes Photography


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