Saturday, 4 April 2015

Nourish

As soon as I started my extensive Cancer research, it was clear the first thing I had to do is change the way I eat and perceive food.
I thought I may have an eating disorder, I can't eat veggies! I look at vegans and I'm actually jealous I can't eat veggies with the same passion they have. Now, another admission, I'm a foodie, always have been. We have raised the kids appreciating different cuisines, flavours, and textures. When we travel we always try the local fare, we research which restaurants are the best and which dishes to try. Eating is an adventure we like sharing together. Those who know me know how food is a part of my life, I make bread from scratch. I cook and bake a lot too, at one point I even planned on marketing my cakes and cookies. I was going to call it Sweet Caroline, I own a ton of cookbooks. We love and appreciate a well cooked meal, or what we thought was good and proper food! Enter the cancer diet, or should I say the ideal cancer diet, what should be the right cancer diet is highly debatable but from research I deduced that it ideally must be vegan and preferably 80% raw, no meat, no sugar, no dairy, and organic. Easy, I said to myself, just down it! I was completely wrong, it is harder than I thought and eating is now one of the major areas of my healing protocol that I'm struggling with. For one, when you are doing chemo, your tastebuds are off, depending on your tongue's mood, everything you put in your mouth can either taste bitter, bland, or too salty, even when it's completely fine with everyone else. I force food down but I don't enjoy it anymore (working on it) and I feel stuffed when I've had nothing. I'm hoping to get my ability to taste back when the chemo wears out now that I've quit. Finding a good vegan restaurant is hard too, even the vegan meal at The Savoy Grill didn't impress, sorry Gordon, just my taste buds, probably.
Eating is one thing I have to relearn and then re introduce into our lives. My goal is to enjoy it with the same gusto I had with my food in the past. This is my next challenge, expect recipes soon. I look at food differently now, I see it as medicine, I see it as a gift that we've overlooked and over processed. " let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food" A famous quote from the father of modern medicine, Hippocrates. Why then do doctors know nothing about nutrition and it's significance to health. I was told they only get an equivalent of about 2 weeks of studies on nutrition, if any at all. The dietician at the hospital's only solution is glucose laden Ensure. You should see the food they serve, over cooked veggies, refined bread and pastas, processed everything, it is disgusting. I lost a lot of weight early on when I started chemo, from 60 kilos down to 34, I was skin and bones and ordered to build up. I consulted the dietician at the hospital and was advised to load up on cream, and butter, and bread to load up. I didn't do it, couldn't. Even on our old diet, we stayed off processed stuff, and we ate organic whenever available. My goal is to be 100% vegan because I know that is the food we're meant to eat, and what the body deserves. My 15 year old son puts my diet to shame. He went from McDonald's to Whole Foods overnight, and his discipline, focus and perseverance provides my inspiration, I'm so proud of him.
Then there's the moral issue. Another strong reason why I want to go vegan is the appalling conditions by which our food, specifically meat is raised and produced for consumption. Read "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Safran Foer. I was so upset after reading this book, it kept me off meat for a while, not completely like I hoped it would though (work in progress). PETA has information on their website too.
Dairy
Though I don't drink milk, I used to put it in my coffee and when almond milk is not available, with my cereals. I loved cheese! 
A lot of effort and money were spent on making milk a diet staple in many cultures especially the west, but guess what, it's bad for you and you don't need it. Isn't it weird that we're the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another species?
The milk protein casein which makes up 87% of cow's milk protein, promoted all stages of the cancer process. This according to Dr.T Colin Campbell from The China Study. Milk contains 38 hormones and growth promoters, one in particular IGF-1. Studies have shown that increased levels of IGF-1 lead to increased growth of existing cancer cells. Milk is processed differently now too than when our mothers had it. It goes through unnatural processes of sterilization and homogenization at super heated temperatures to kill both good and bad bacteria. These processes change milk at a molecular level, hard for our bodies to recognize. Cows are given hormones and antibiotics, they're often over milked they produce puss which we consume. Calcium deficiency is just another ploy to sell more dairy and calcium supplements. Calcium is vital for strong bones and teeth, it also regulates blood pressure, and maintain blood vessels. " Got milk"? You don't have to, there are other excellent calcium choices. Here's a few, collard greens, broccoli, kale, edamame, bok choy, figs, oranges, sardines, wild salmon, white beans, okra, almonds, turnip greens, blackstrap molasses, seaweed, sesame seeds, etc.
Meat
I still have fond memories of the steak house our parents always take us to after Sunday mass. We were big meat eaters! We would have a whole roast pig for celebrations. 
I'm working on eliminating meat from my diet completely, I'm down to one meal with it a week, I know I'm getting there. Yes we're classified as omnivores and physiologically able to eat some meat, but the way we're consuming meat nowadays doesn't allow time for our bodies to process them before we chomp down yet another burger, with cheese! Meat takes massive quantities of digestive enzymes to liquefy and digest, especially red. We over work our digestive systems. When you've got cancer your body needs to conserve as much energy and this digestive process is taxing which in turn renders your body deficient of enzymes required for many other functions within the body. Meat is acidic too and you want to be alkaline. The longer it takes for food to go through our system, the more prone it is to putrification, you've got rotten, decaying food in your tummy, not yummy.
Pork is a scavenger beast, it can tolerate eating putrid foods and they don't have sweat glands to expel toxins which we ingest when we consume them. Pigs actually have the same IQs as dogs and as affectionate as them, they were right about "Babe".
Fish, oily fish such as wild salmon and mackerel are good sources of omega 3, but make sure you source it properly, steer clear of farmed fish which are given growth stimulants. Cook it properly, don't fry, or smoke. Fish should still be taken in moderation.
Chicken. The process that take a chicken to the kitchen table is deplorable and unsanitary. Factory farmed chickens can't even survive outside of their cages, the only reason they're alive is because of the antibiotics, vitamins, and growth hormones they inject them. They're subjected to contamination, forced out of their packed cages, scalded and defeatthered alive, and submerged into a pool of waste and bacteria. If you must eat them, make sure you source them well, organic and free range.
Red Meat. it takes a great deal of processing from our digestive systems to absorb meat, if you constantly eat it, the putrification from waiting to be digested builds up within the gut and bowels and the toxins re absorbed back into the body, it's just not worth it.
Proteins are the building blocks of our bodies, they break down amino acids that promote cell growth and repair but there are better protein choices than meat. Here's a quick list, green peas, quinoa, nuts and nut butters, beans, chickpeas, tempeh and tofu, edamame, leafy greens, hemp, chia, sesame, and sunflower seeds, seitan, even unsweetened cocoa powder.
Raw (and Organic)
A week after starting a raw diet, my energy levels zoomed up, I believe this is the stuff super humans are made of, raw, sustainable, sun based energy! Raw food is alive, you want life to run through your body, not dead rotting food. Raw food puts less strain on your digestion too. They are hydrating and contain loads of fiber which is essential in sweeping out digestive tract waste. They contain phytonutrients that act as antioxidants and immune boosters. A Swiss scientist, Dr. Paul Kouchakoff studied the effect of digestive leukocytosis, a well known phenomenon in which white blood cell count rises after eating cooked food but not when raw food is consumed. It only occurs after eating cooked, canned, or processed food. He renamed it pathological leukocytosis because the body's reaction to a foreign invader causes the increase in white blood cell count.
Sugar
Cancer cells feed on sugar, they need glucose to grow, that's where they get their energies from. The cancer cell has 96 receptor sites for sugar. This is why you get radioactive sugar when you do your pet scans, the cancer cells light up and reveal themselves, this diagnostic tool relies on the fact that cancer cells love sugar. Healthy cells transform into glucose-guzzling machines when they lose the ability to use oxygen effectively. They become anaerobic and turn to fermentation as a way of producing energy. Sugar is disguised in so many things today, toothpaste, ketchup, rice, salad dressings, it's everywhere. It doesn't help that it's addictive too. Cancer patients should not even eat fruit except for pineapples which contain bromelain and papaya which contains papain, both cancer fighters. Organic apples and pears should be limited.
The right diet and proper food contains information that the body uses to support life systems. It is essential to life. Unfortunately, we don't eat real food anymore and almost everything is processed or tampered for convenience, our food stripped of the nutrients that we need to sustain a healthy body.
We should all aim to eat live energized food in its purest form.
It's not just cancer patients who can benefit from this way of eating, this is how we should all be eating. When we eat this way we not only nourish ourselves but the Earth. In taking care of ourselves we take care of life as it should be.

" I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be your food" Genesis 1:29
"And you will eat the plants in the field" Genesis 3:29
"For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills; A land of wheat and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey; A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, though shalt not lack anything in it" Deuteronomy 8:7-9a
"Excess of meats bringeth sickness" Ecclesiastics 37:30

Happy Easter!

 

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Quitting Chemo

I'm a quitter and happy that I am. Probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make after deciding to have it is to end it. Sleepless nights went into the process, the decision made on the last second before meeting the oncology team at the hospital. I walked out of the chemo ward given another week to think about it, but I knew I was through. I was contemplating on maybe one more, but when I picture myself heading out to the ward, getting my bloods taken, all the cannula, the needles, the hospital smell, I cringe.
The past three months I've been suffering with insomnia which apparently is a Permetrexed side effect, I'm already coping with chemo brain so not having sleep is not ideal. The worst time was about two weeks of only sleeping every other day, felt like a zombie, which aptly relates to my sleepless nights companion, back episodes of The Walking Dead. I've also recently discovered the Kardashians, and Fashion Police, lol. In healthier days I would have probably taken advantage and take the time to reorganise, maybe work on a project, read, do something productive. Unfortunately because of the lack of sleep, I lack energy too, and my lungs don't really let me go far so I was pretty much stuck to the tele and couch, my brain was foggy so I hardly did research, and this blog post is long overdue.
I didn't think insomnia can be this debilitating. It is hard to keep track of daily routine. I tried guided meditation, relaxing music, massage, essential oils, nothing worked. It was worse around chemo time and as it wears off I find I sleep better. I take Skullcap, Passion flower, and Valerian root in a tincture to help but I find myself groggy in the morning. It doesn't help that my mind is always racing with thoughts and ideas, I can't shut it off. I have taken four full cycles of Cisplatin and Permetrexed and 18 maintenance Permetrexed, I have two chemotherapy record books in my name, what I have done is a feat for anyone. My oncologist mentioned one other girl who's had about as much chemo as me, she quit and the tumour grew back. Now, I don't know her but she did quit because her side effects were outweighed by the benefits of the treatment, and we probably take different supplements anyway so I didn't think the comparison is justified. However, he did bring up a good point, I can handle the chemo better than what he's seen, so why not keep doing it. I know chemo has done its job , it saved my life. I understand where they are coming from, after all they don't know I have a plan B. They don't know that I am doing something else aside from chemo, I was not fortunate enough to find an integrated oncology team so my team is made up of professionals I had picked personally, specializing in a particular field that I think will help me move forward. Acupuncture is certainly helping with sleep and energy. The last two scans I had, had very minute difference, meaning, no major reductions in tumour size. I think it's time to help get the toxins out from more than a year of chemo and continue on the healing path the natural way. I know a lot of people disagree with me and I hope they're wrong.

Saturday, 3 January 2015

The Wind Beneath My Wings

I often get asked where I draw my strength from. How do you manage to keep optimistic with everything that's happening to you? Where is all that energy coming from? How are you able to smile? Just a few of the questions thrown at me lately.
There is only one person to credit, my mother! She taught me Resilience. She's been tested time and again, and every time, she always pulls through. That deep sense of faith and love she instilled in all her kids and everyone around her provide the foundation that fortify my being, and my essence. She is and remains to be the wind beneath my wings. I cannot soar without that wind. It's what propels me to reach greater heights and dream the impossible.
As I go through the biggest challenge of my life, I take with me her exemplary virtue of faith, love, and resilience. With these, I can keep going. I would not be half the person I am now without her care and guidance. I would not be fit to fight this without tapping into her inexhaustible ardor to keep going no matter what.
Today I thank my Mom for everything. Happy 79th Birthday Mama, you're the wind beneath my wings, I love you!

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! So Happy to be in the year 2015!
I have a really long "to do " list for 2015, that's regardless of what scan, doctor, or statistics may say.
So my lungs better behave, and my chemo brain better cooperate.
First on the list of course is to move my healing forward. I can't go on chemo forever, no one does. My oncologist expects the chemo to either stop working or I will give up. Giving up will mean my body can't tolerate the toxicity anymore. The strain has started to show itself in the past 3 chemotherapy sessions I've had, my veins are starting to resist the treatment, putting a cannula on me is becoming a burden on myself and the nurses, and I'm starting to bruise really bad where the needle was. Having said that though, my oncologist said he hasn't seen anyone go on chemo for as long as I have and do so well! I'm mapping out my next line of action and I will talk about the modalities I've chosen in the next weeks.
The cancer will obviously still take center stage. Let me rephrase that, I will put myself at center stage this 2015. Cancer is a call to put myself there, it tells you that you need to let yourself be the star once in a while. It's a calling to reboot myself, although I wish it's as simple as hitting a button.

This can be really overwhelming and I can't allow it to consume me so I've written down a bucket list of things to do when I'm not on treatments, meditating, or doing research. What type of bucket list can a cancer patient make? One that doesn't require commitment!  My list is a mix of fun, challenge, relaxation, and will probably involve a lot of mess. It will all be short term and can be abandoned on demand except maybe for one, the photography site I want to relaunch on a much smaller scale, still debating on this one. Taking a Spanish language class is on my list. We recently hired a Cuban cook and trying to communicate with her with the little Spanish I can muster inspired me to revisit these classes I used to abhor, Mi Ultimo Adios, no more! This one goes on the do something challenging list, along with sewing and cooking classes.
It will be living with Cancer - Extreme! Don't worry, I'm aware of my limits, chemo and side effects and cancer will get in the way. That is why first on my list is Nourishment. I will do everything to get my diet and supplements right, I know this alone will help me bulid up.
I haven't really followed through New Year's resolutions of years past, but I make them every year. In my situation, it is a must, I simply must stick to it and do it! Every year, even if we don't write them down we've all got lists on our minds when the new year comes. Be it improving on a skill, starting a new career, getting relationships in order, etc. We all get a chance to pause and redirect our lives, how many more chances will I get to make these resolutions and carry them out, I wonder. I can't definitively say, there's always next year but all of you who are reading this, don't miss out on these chances - no pressure :)
I wish and pray for fortitude and stability in body, mind, and spirit to get through another year.
A Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous Year to all!

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Merry Christmas: I come bearing presents!

Christmas takes on a deeper meaning when you're living a life with Cancer. You always think, is this going to be my last Christmas? You make every effort to make it special, or at least more profound. Last Christmas I was strapped to a breathing apparatus the size of a suitcase with meters of cannula, tubes of plastic that I have to drag around the house, into bed, the shower, it had to be everywhere, or I stop breathing. Did that stop me from having Christmas? I didn't let it! I couldn't go out shopping, or watch the wonderful store displays, or do my favourite holiday thing, browsing the Christmas markets, but, thank goodness for the mighty internet, Christmas got sorted and delivered. Family came which made it the occasion it should be. A true Christmas.
This year, confident as I am in my healing protocols, there is still that haunting question in my mind, will I be around next Christmas? It's just a question you can't help but ask when you're as sick as I am, sorry if that came out upsetting.
I love Christmas trees. I vary and change my theme every year, setting up the tree kick starts my Christmas frenzy. We are moving in January and I have put our tree in storage by mistake so we just have the small one that used to go in my daughter's room. I had a theme in mind this year and I had bought some ornaments, celebrating the fact that I can actually hand pick them in store. Liberty, Harrod's, Fortnum and Mason, and the Christmas Markets had the best ones. I decided to stick with the little tree this year, save the ornaments for next year, that would hopefully send a message to my cells, "we've got to stick around for that tree!"
Growing up in Manila where holiday music starts playing as early as September (no kidding), it's not a wonder it's my favourite season. I have spent Christmases in different parts of the world but nothing matches Christmas in the Philippines. It's an amazing package of love, spirituality, and gluttony, and if you're not careful, bankruptcy :) My Christmases were always filled with joy back there. I try to relive that wherever I end up spending Christmas in. Wrapping presents is my thing, I know some of you are like "what?".  I love it, when wrapping Christmas presents, I set up the mood. I play holiday music while sipping eggnog (chamomile tea this year) and home made cinnamon cookies. My husband and kids will never get to the level of Christmas I know, the kids used to hop in on all the hysteria but they don't join me anymore. They don't get all the ballyhoo that comes over me at this time of year. But, they love the presents nevertheless, funny.
This Christmas again is filled with gratitude, thankful that I'm even around to take part. I will look forward to the next one.
I searched through some Ezines I used to write for that still had my articles and photographs and found this, the Irish Coffee recipe I wrote for The Vancouver Observer, perfect with Cinnamon Cookies on cold Christmas nights, or just to put you in the mood. Consider it my gift - you're welcome!
http://www.vancouverobserver.com/food/2011/11/14/easy-irish-coffee-recipe
Cinnamon Cookies
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
2 eggs
2 3/4 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
Cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in eggs until fluffy. Mix in the flour, cinnamon, and salt. Knead until cinnamon is well incorporated evenly. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for at least an hour or overnight. Roll dough into floured surface, cut dough with your choice of cutters. Place 2 “ apart on lined cookie sheets. Bake at 350 for about 15 minutes or until done. They’re good plain or you can frost and decorate them. Your house will smell of Christmas!

I hope your Christmas is filled with love and meaning this year, let it flow with gratitude! Look forward to the blessings of another year. Do watch the cream and alcohol though (just one Irish Coffee will serve the fix)

Merry Christmas everyone!
 click below for Christmas music to set the mood..

Monday, 1 December 2014

I'VE HIT GOLD!

Well well Happy 50th Birthday to me! I'm vintage. And, I barely made it here. I pictured my 50th birthday basking in happiness, prosperity, and good health. I certainly did not envision myself to be the face of cancer at 50!
I have looked forward to this golden year, I associate turning 50 as the year to start reaping the glory of your life's efforts of the past 49 years. I see it as a time when you will be wiser and in control. When I'm 50, I used to say, I'm going to slow down and enjoy life more. Now I have to enjoy whatever's left of it.
About the only thing  that comes to us without effort is old age, except when you're me. I had to fight so hard just to make it to 50 and whoa I just made it. When I was given the bleak prognosis I thought I will never see my 50th birthday. Actually the deadline they gave me was 48.
December 2, 2014 is my 50th Birthday and I feel a deep sense of gratitude. I already got a two year bonus, and counting. I had hoped for a better scenario but I'm not going to let this cancer dampen my hopes of having more birthdays to come. I fought so hard to get here, I will keep going to stay here.
I dreamt Big. It's still all in my mind, on hold, until my cells decide I can proceed again. They say having cancer stops all your wishes, all your dreams, and ambitions. Having cancer dictates your destiny. You can only plan days, not weeks, not years. Maybe it does dictate your destiny up to a certain point. But why stop, what's the harm in dreaming? If anything it can motivate you to fight even more when you want to get there so badly, and if you don't, hey you gave it a fair chance. It's free and a good workout for your brain. One can only dream, as they say. Isn't it good to keep hopeful. I think dreaming and wishing keeps your communication lines to life open "hello universe, I have yet to do the following........, my bucket list is long and deep". You're not masking reality, you still face your challenge everyday, but you're not putting a lid on life either. You never know maybe the constant asking will open up a whole new universe for you.
As I look back to the past 50 years, I'm thankful for the wisdom ripe age does impart. I have reached my golden year broken physically but stronger in spirit. I wish I can get more time to use that hard earned wisdom though.
My birthday present? I made 50 bags of warm weather accessories that I will hand out to 50 homeless people in London. I didn't go through shelters and organizations because I want to reach people who, for some reason, refuse to seek help. I see them every time I go out, even in posh Chelsea. A lot of them have dogs too, we've got one and my heart melts when I see them. Back in Vancouver, a group of homeless youngsters hang out outside of a Mcdonald's near the supermarket I go to. When I'm not rushing I buy them happy meals, or coffee, depending on my budget, and how many they are :), they have dogs as well. So, I'm packing dog food too. My way of thanking the universe for my continued strength (and existence). My way of letting 50 people know that someone cares. On my birthday, I want 50 people, complete strangers to feel touched and loved. I'm posting this a day ahead, because as you know now, I will be out distributing these goodies. I would have made more but I don't think my crappy lungs can handle too much walking.

Here's some Birthday quotes.......

Few Women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are cheese. - Billie Burke

Nice to be here? At my age, it's nice to be everywhere. - George Burns

I'll keep swivelling my hips until they need replacing. - Tom Jones

You can't turn back the clock but you can wind it up again!

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster too - Lionel Kauffman

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.  - Victor Hugo

Please don't touch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them - Anna Magnami

Nature gives you the face you have at 20, but it's up to you to merit the face you have at 50 - Coco Chanel


Saturday, 15 November 2014

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month!


 White Ribbons for Lung Cancer!
This is my month, lung cancer awareness! I haven't been blogging, I have been really busy, good busy! But, I cannot let the month go without posting something to help advocate for patients and raise some sort of awareness in my little way through my little blog.
I have never smoked in my life and I got lung cancer, go figure. The few months after diagnosis, an advocacy group interviewed me while on chemo, and asked what message I would like to relay to the public and the medical community about lung cancer. I told them that  when I first came to see a doctor about breathlessness, it was dismissed as possibly being out of shape, and was asked to exercise more, make changes in my diet, 3 years later, it's late stage lung cancer! Should we have looked then? I knew myself, maybe my diet goes adrift from time to time, but it was always in moderation. I walked everyday for at least an hour and I'm always on my feet at home, the lack of activity did not fit at all. But, I still trusted the doctor's expertise, or maybe I shouldn't have and insisted on further tests. If your current care provider won't fund your tests, it's worth getting a private one done, for your piece of mind. May I also suggest, regular full profile blood tests, this will show you where you're at, what minerals you are deficient in, your cholesterol, sugar levels, etc. We got the whole family tested, then went to a herbalist and now we're not guessing which supplements to take as the concoction is custom made based on the blood tests and what we're feeling. So my message was that doctors should realize that lung cancer does affect non smokers, something I'm sure they all know, and patients that come to them with symptoms should be checked just as much as smokers. After all, smoking is not the only cause of lung cancer. There's radon, environmental pollution, chemicals right in your own home, soap, shampoo, etc.
To everyone, be proactive in following up symptoms you may feel, you don't have to be paranoid, but trust your gut feeling, because you do feel it when something's not right. I felt it, but dismissed it and took the doctor's advice as gospel. My symptoms were breathlessness on effort which I started to feel as early as three years ago, I thought this was all a part of aging initially. The breathlessness became progressively worse leading up to the diagnosis, then the cough that won't go away for 2 months eventually urged me to insist on further testing. Time is something cancer patients would be blessed to have, so finding out as early as possible provide for a better scenario as it gives you a better chance at designing a healing protocol after all the research you'll have to do!
Here's an article from Dr. Andrew Weil on Lung Cancer and its symptoms
10 Signs of Lung Cancer - Dr. Weil's Daily Tip